When You’re “Worth Something”

I find that most people in this world want to be “valued”. They want to feel that other people see them as important in their lives, even just a little bit. It gives them meaning. Human beings are primarily ego and their ego determines their worth. Not to go all Freud on ya, but yeah, it basically boils down to that.

When people don’t feel valued they lose sense of self. They lose sense of purpose. They began to ask themselves “What does it matter to anyone that I am alive?” Hence the rate of suicide in this country.

We are the 16th most suicidal country in the world. Lesotho on the continent of Africa, has the highest rate, per capita, it’s almost 50%.

The population below the poverty line in Lesotho is nearly 50% of the total population. Hence the impossible suicide rate. Having been ‘I don’t have food to eat today’ poor vs. "I haven’t had food to eat in two or three weeks poor,” I get that. When you’re in a country with such inadequate support systems or the inability to generate enough wealth to feed the population, you begin to understand you don’t mean a damn thing in the universe, you’re just an animal waiting to die.

But here we are in the United States of America, where no one has to ever go hungry, at least not for long. We’ve got more food programs than Picasso had paint. Food Stamps, WIC, Church Kitchens, Food Kitchens, Soup Kitchens, Meals on Wheels, Community Food Banks, Salvation Army Kitchens and the list goes on.

I was actually surprised to see that the United States has the 12th highest obesity rate in the world, superseded by many Pacific Islander countries and territories. I would have thought we were number one, I guess we don’t eat enough coconuts. But then again, we are 12th in obesity out of about 80 countries ranked by the World Population Review.

So, we’re eating good. Therefore, unlike Lesotho, we aren’t starving to death and our lives should have more meaning, at least you’d think.

But they don’t, back to that 16th place ranking in overall suicides.

Why would a person take their own life? There are two possible answers:

1) Living is so painful you just can’t do “it” another day. Your physiological and psychological trauma is impossible to overcome and you just can’t endure that very real emotional and physical pain one more time, so you just want to end it.

2) You realize that nobody cares you are alive, not the government, not your friends or loved ones, nobody. You don’t feel wanted, so why pretend you should be here to satisfy everybody else’s feelings? You’re dead and numb and just cannot enjoy anything or anyone any more.

Both of these scenarios suggest you don’t think you are worth anything. You see yourself as a pawn on a chessboard being moved around against your will until the other side knocks you off.

I once met a man on the streets of D.C. A homeless, stinky man. He asked me for money. I said “No, I won't give you money, but I’ll go into that Deli and buy you a sandwich and get you a water.” He shook his head yes. And I did. I came out with that sandwich and water, gave it to him and then saw him walk up the street to another man under a blanket and hand him that sandwich and water. When I saw it, I called out to him and said “Sir, will you come over here?” He did. I said “I just saw you give away that sandwich and water to another man, I bought that for you. Would you like another sandwich and water so you could eat?” He said “Yes, thank you ma’am”

So I went back into that Deli and bought another sandwich and water and took it out to him. And he smiled and said “Thank You ma’am.” And I said to that man “Can I give you a hug?” And he looked at me baffled and then said “Yes ma’am” And I hugged him and told him “God loves you, never forget that.”

Whenever I am down, whenever I get depressed, I want to be like that man on the street. My greatest medicine is to serve someone besides myself. I consciously work to get out of my skin, my ego, my pain and just give to another.

And by giving of myself, like that homeless man gave of himself that day, I realize I am worth something. I matter.