What Did They Promise Her?

During graduate school I took a job with the El Monte/Rosemead School District in a program where they sent teachers into convalescent hospitals to conduct a daily three hour class. I had been substitute teaching, but the pay in 1988 for the convalescent job was $18.50 per hour. And that was substantial for a part-time job in those days.

I did this job for six years, first during my degree and then when I created a nonprofit to address women’s issues. At one point, I wrote a guidebook for the district on how to “teach” Alzheimer’s and Dementia patients. What was critical was sticking to subjects with which they were familiar. The goal was to stimulate their brains, make them more responsive and ward off further deterioration. And it wasn’t as much “teaching” as it was verbal interaction question and response.

I came to love my “students” and when one would die, which they would, I felt devastated. Aside from the occasional patient that would become violent (and Alzheimer’s does that); these were incredibly vulnerable, frail and weak human beings and I felt quite protective of them. If I saw an attendant mistreating one, I would report it to the head nurse. Or I would upbraid the attendant myself.

I know Alzheimer’s and Dementia when I see it. Even if from afar.

There can be no doubt that President Joe Biden has one or the other. His missteps, his babbling, his extraordinary impatience when being pushed by the press, his outbursts, his retreating, his putting his head down in sheer frustration…these are all things Alzheimer’s and Dementia patients do when confused or under duress (more so Alzheimer’s than Dementia).

What puzzles me is “why would a wife or a husband of an Alzheimer’s victim allow the exploitation of their loved one?” The spouses I met were fairly vigilant about the care of their husbands and wives. There were some that would visit every day, if only to hold their loved ones hands or share lunch with them. Others made sure that they had fresh, clean clothes or were getting proper medical care. I remember the wife of a fifty-one year old man in Stage 3 Alzheimer’s sobbing in the hallway after she admitted him. She had no choice, he had become extremely violent toward her and she could no longer care for him. Never had I seen such awful anguish.

Jill Biden has the power to stop this nightmare of a charade. She could make him voluntarily step down vs. waiting for him to be removed with the 25th Amendment and forever go down in history as “that guy” that got removed from the Presidency. So why doesn’t she?

Is it her own ambition, her moment in the spotlight as First Lady? The Vogue and People magazine spreads or the BravoTV and Sesame Street appearances?

Dr. Jill was a professor at a community college, noble profession to be sure, but not very glamorous. A job mostly consisting of faculty meetings, grading essays and low pay. She did have her time in the sun as wife of the Vice President, but that’s a JV position, not Varsity.

I would never allow my husband to be so publically humiliated, I love him too much and I cherish his dignity. It’s not what you do when you love someone, what you do is stand in a convalescent hospital hallway and cry your eyes out, like that woman did so many years ago.

So what did they promise her to be his “keeper?” Or were there no promises only blind ambition driving that choice? We may never know, but it’s more than fair to question such behavior as it is cruel. If he had been my “student” I never would have allowed it.